The Old Testament was rich with teaching and examples which help us understand family discipleship. If you haven't yet read the Old Testament Roots for Family Discipleship, please do so before you read this one as much of what we glean from the New Testament is built upon OT foundations.

Moving into the NT, let us first consider the life of Jesus and His experience as part of a family.

We do not have much concerning Jesus' childhood. His parents were godly people who loved the Lord and sought to be obedient to Him. For example, when Jesus was a baby, Mary and Joseph brought him to Jerusalem to be dedicated to the Lord according to what was written in the Law (Luke 2:23-24).  Luke also tells us that "Every year his parents traveled to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival" (Luke 2:41).

In one such journey, when Jesus was 12, His parents lost him. One might fault His parents, but it appears to be due to some kind of miscommunication and an assumption on the parent's part rather than neglect.  

What is interesting in this story is that Luke highlights Jesus' obedience toward His parents (v.51). The eternal Son of God learned obedience as a son of man. On either side of this Text, Luke says:

• v. 40: "The boy grew up and become (1) strong, (2) filled with wisdom, (3) and God's grace was on Him."
• v.52: "And Jesus increased in (2) wisdom, (1) and stature, and (3) in favor with God and with people."

This is what is referred to as an inclusio: parallel statements that bracket off a Text. It is meant to emphasize what is in the middle and show its relation to what is being repeated. A good way to interpret this inclusio is to see that His parents' ministry is the means that God used for Jesus increasing in strength, wisdom, and favor. Jesus had to live a perfect life as a human in order to offer perfection to humans (Heb. 5:8).  And the telling this is that the primary means of Jesus learning this obedience  was through His parents.

May I say that you, parent, are an instrument of God in the forming of your child's character? Your role cannot be overemphasized, but how might it be defined? I submit that your role in the formation of your child is that of primary disciple-maker.

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
- Matthew 28:18-20

Most believers are familiar with the Text above as it is the marching orders par excellence for the church. What I want you to do is to pay attention to the qualifying phrase associated with the command, "make disciples." The qualifying phrase is verse 20, which says, " teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

What does it mean to disciple someone? It means to teach one to obey Jesus.  Is this not what we have seen the role of the parent is? Your calling by God is one of a faith-trainer and disciple-maker. As Paul will teach,

"Fathers, don't stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." - Ephesians 6:4

What we have seen from Scripture is very different from common practice in church-going parents. Oftentimes, the church is seen as the central locus of discipleship and not the home. However, this is not how it has always been. What has been lost in society is a general consensus of the role and responsibility of parents to train their children.

That does not mean the church does not have a role. As we saw in the last post, a relationship is developed between parents and the leaders of God's people. The New Testament teaches this as well:

And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ,  until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,  so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.
- Ephesians 4:11-14

The role of church leaders is not to bare the full burden of ministry (including the discipleship of children); rather, it is to equip church members for their respective ministries. This relationship can be seen in the figure below:

So far a brief survey of a few Texts in the OT and NT have established the roles of the parent and church, respectively. In the following posts, we will follow the church's history and see how this relationship took shape in different ages.

If I were to ask you, “What are the basic needs you child has?”  How would you answer?

Many would respond with the basic survival needs: food, water, shelter, clothing, sleep.  In recent times, psychology has informed the public that children need much more than that.  For example, they need to experience love and physical affection.  Researchers have found that the physical health of babies deprived of love and affection (but have every other need met) is significantly less than babies who are provided with all of their basic needs including love and affection.

However, what I'm going to argue in this post is that there is a need that your children have that transcends their physical and even their psychological needs.  

Jesus communicated this need, this spiritual need, often times by using analogy.  He would liken our greatest need to those physical needs without which our bodies would die.  He did this to communicate that without this spiritual need of ours, our souls are as good as dead. But as Jesus describes our spiritual need, He makes a important comparison between it and our physical needs.

 Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
- John 4:13-14

 Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst..."
- John 6:35

 When we are hungry and partake of bread and water, we are momentarily satisfied but will need to eat and drink again to sustain our bodies.  This is the nature of physical provisions meeting physical needs.  The satisfaction is only momentary.  

Not so with Jesus. When we look to Him, He will provide our souls with an everlasting satisfaction.  Christ saves to the uttermost (Heb. 7:25).  We will never need to look for another source to care for our souls again. When we depend upon Christ, we experience Him as a spring of eternal life dwelling within.

However important and essential it is for parents to meet the physical needs of their children, those provisions will not last.  Children have a need greater than physical life and flourishing; their greatest need is spiritual life and spiritual flourishing.  This only comes through faith in Jesus Christ.

The years that you have your children are the most formative years of their entire lives.  During childhood and adolescence they are malleable and  influenceable.  What takes place during these years often sets the trajectory of the rest of their lives.  With that said, during the average school-year, this is what your child’s life looks like:

School
Each year, students are required to spend 900 - 1000 hours of instructional time. That translates into 14% of their lives from K - 12th grade.

Sleep
It is recommended that children receive 8 hr of sleep each night. That translates into 33% of their lives.

Church
If children and students attends 4 church services a week without ever missing a service, they will spend 2.4% of their lives being discipled in church.

Your Time
School and sleep are by far the largest commitments. However, there is a lot of time left in which you can have an influence. In fact, the time that is left over amounts to 50.3% of their lives.

If this glance at a child's life tells us anything, it reveals that the home is where kids spend the most amount of time. Parents, therefore, are divinely positioned by God to have the greatest impact on kids. Parents, you can do what I - as a student pastor - never will be able to do. I only get 2.4% of their time (if they attend church every time the doors are open). I cannot possibly fight back what some of them are taught or exposed to in a secular school environment (which receives 14% of their time!).  I cannot provide them with the primary spiritual sustenance they need, the discipleship "main course," if you will.  I'm not positioned by God to be able to do that.  The reason why I'm not positioned in their lives to be their primary disciple-makers is because I'm not the one appointed.

God has divinely appointed parents to be their child's primary disciple-makers.  

Listen to the words of Moses in Deuteronomy 6:
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."
  - Deuteronomy 6:4-9

The Lord has appointed and positioned you to be your child's primary disciple-maker. The only way that they can have their spiritual need met is by you sharing Christ, the source of all life, with them.

The best place for us to begin to get our reason and method for family discipleship is where God begins, the Old Testament.

The Role of the Parent

The place we will begin our survey is in the Garden. Adam and Eve were created and felt no shame. This is true martial bliss - no shame, complete openness and vulnerability without the hint of reservation. However, after they rebelled against God, everything changed. So long to the marital bliss. They felt shame - shame due to the guilt of their rebellion -  and a distrust towards the other.

This is where one of the major gospel implications comes in: even though they rebelled against the Lord, the Lord took the first step in restoration:

"And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them."
Genesis 3:21

This might not seem significant at first, but this is the first death. Blood was spilled to cover over the nakedness (by way of allusion, sinfulness) of humanity. This set the paradigm of the sacrificial system. The author of Hebrews explains, "without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness" (Hebrews 9:22)

In the next chapter, we meet the first children of the Bible, Cain and Abel, offering a sacrifice to God. Cain offered to God fruit, which He rejected; whereas Abel offered to God the firstborn of his flock, which He accepted. The reason why God accepted the sacrifice of Abel to further explain the sacrificial system that He instated. That, however, is not my concern at the present moment. My question is this: If Cain and Abel were born after their parents were cut off from God's presence, after the time that God taught Adam and Eve the sacrificial system, how did Cain and Abel know about God, let alone how did they know to offer sacrifices to Him and what sacrifice is according to His revealed will? 

The answer: Their parents taught them. 

They knew about God because Adam and Eve told them about God. They knew they were to offer Him sacrifices because it had been handed down to them. This is called oral tradition. In the time before writing was developed, people communicated orally. Listen to what the Psalmist says, 

"Give ear, O my people, to my teaching;
Incline your ears to the words of mouth!
I will open my mouth in a parable;
I will utter dark sayings from of old,
things that we have heard and known,
that our fathers have told us.
We will not hide them from our our children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,
and the wonders that he has done."
Psalm 78:1-4

In fact, everything we know from Genesis came by oral tradition - parents passing these stories down to their children.


The Shema 

Arguably the most significant and explicit Passage that teaches us what God expected of parents in the OT comes from Deuteronomy 6, the Shema. 

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."
- Deuteronomy 6:4-9

The context of this Passage is the Second giving of the Law. This is Moses' sermon to the people right before Joshua leads them into the Promised Land. The words that Moses is referring to are the first 5 books of the OT, which he wrote. He charges parents with the role of primary faith trainer (terminology for OT discipleship).

Commands are given to parents to (formally and informally) share God's Word with their children. Philip McKinney highlights the 4 verbs emboldened above (teach, talk, bind, and write) and gives helpful ways we can and should communicate God's Word with our children:

1. Teach- Carve out time every week to read and explain the scriptures to your children. 
   • ex. An hour at your teenagers favorite coffee shop
   • ex. A few minutes each night
     
     
2. Talk- As Moses explains, "when you sit in your house, walk by the way, lie down and rise." Whenever and wherever you are, talk about the things of God with your children.
   
   
3. Bind- Fashion Scripture in places to serve as a reminder to your family. Example: Scripture as wall art.
   
   
4. Write- Write your children notes. Slip a note with Scripture on it in with their sandwich in their lunchbox. 

Partnership

What is so easily missed when reading the Old Testament is the partnership that existed between the family and prophets/priests. Let's consider Nehemiah 8. The people have returned from Exile, and Ezra stands in front of the people, opens up the scriptures, and all the people weep as he reads from God's Word because it is precious to them:

"And Nehemiah, who was the governor, and Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, "This day is holy to the Lord your God; do not mourn or weep." For all the people wept as they heard the words of the Law. Then He said to them, "Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions ot anyone who has notion ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." So the Levites calmed all the people, saying, "Be quiet, for this day is holy; do not be grieved." And all the people went their way to eat and drink and to send portions and to make great rejoicing, because they had understood the words that were declared to them. On the second day the heads of the fathers' houses of all the people, with the priests and the Levites, came together to Ezra the scribe in order to study the words of the Law."
Nehemiah 8:9-13

In this Text, we find the priests and fathers gather to study the Word of God. Pay attention here: This is a type of what we will find in the NT. This partnership between the OT religious leaders and families will be seen again between NT pastors/teachers and families. 

You might be a parent and feel like you don't know anything about God's Word. You might feel insecure or hypocritical trying to teach something you do not understand or are not faithful in. Whatever you might be feeling, God has called you to teach the word to your children, and God has called your pastors to equip you for that ministry. Go to them. Study God's word with them so that you can take that word back to your family.

The Generation Who Did Not Know the Lord

After Moses preached his sermon and the Israelites crossed the Jordan, they began their conquest of the Promised Land. At the end of their conquest, Joshua stands back and he sees the remnants of idolaters, those who worship false gods. He gathers the people together to give them a message like Moses gave the people, and much like Moses' final words to the people, Joshua gets right to the heart and challenges parents to be faithful to their calling:

"Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
Joshua 24:14-15 

After such an epic charge by Joshua and Moses, it would seem that that the people would be committed to the Lord. However, that is not the case. In Judges 2, we see that as soon as Joshua and his generation pass away, the people very quickly abandon the Lord: 

"When Joshua dismissed the people, the people of Israel went each to his inheritance to take possession of the land. And the people served the Lord all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who outlived Joshua, who had seen all the great work that the Lord had done for Israel. And Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died at the age of 110 years. And they buried him within the boundaries of his inheritance in Timnath-heres, in the hill country of Ephraim ,north of the mountain of Gaash. And all that generation also were gathered to their fathers. And there arose another generation after them who did not know the Lord or the work that he had done for Israel. And the people of Israel did whta was evil in the sight of the Lord and served the Baals. And the abandoned the Lord, the God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt. They went after other gods, from among the gods of the peoples who were around them, and bowed down to them. And they provoked the Lord to anger. They abandoned the Lord and served the Baals and the Ashtaroth. So the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel, and he gave them over to plunderers, who plundered them. And he sold them into the hand of their surrounding enemies, so that they could no longer withstand their enemies."
Judges 2:6-14

This generation set the precedent for the idolatry of generations to come. How in the world did things take such a drastic turn? The parents of "the generation who did not know the Lord" clearly knew him! They saw all kinds of wonders and miracles, and conquered their enemies. How did their children grow up and "did not know the Lord or the work that he had done for Israel?"

Answer: Their parents failed to heed Moses' Words to teach God's Word to their kids, to talk about the things of God, to bind them and write them such that the Word of God marked every aspect of their life as a family.

Conclusion: The Proverbial Promise? 
The most well-known OT verse with regards to parenting comes from the Proverbs:

"Start a youth out on his way;
even when he grows old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6

This passage is comforting to many parents for many reasons. It provides us with hope, but many parents have had their hopes shattered when a child that they have raised in Church, prayed for and with, read Scripture over and with, has abandoned the faith. They look to this Proverb and wonder why their child has departed from the way. They conclude:

• "Maybe I failed as a parent. I wasn't faithful in starting my 'youth on his way.'"
• Or, "God's Word is not true. I know I set my 'youth on his way.' This promise turned out to be a lie. 

But neither of those are right conclusions. Proverbs ought not to be interpreted as unbreakable laws. As Robert Stein puts it, "Proverbs are not laws. They are not even promises. They are generalizations learned from careful observation and a wise analysis of life." That means, even if you are faithful in disciplining your child, they can still wander away from the faith. Why?
Because:

• They are individuals and have the responsibility to respond to the Gospel in faith and repentance. That is something that they must do for themselves. You can not blame yourself for your child's behavior, conduct, or choices. 
• This proverb is giving general wisdom for life, not a law that cannot be broken. 

If you are struggling because your child is in your home or out of your home and not following the Lord:

• Pray for them. 
• Share Christ with them. 
• Love them well. Never abandon them for the Father did not abandon you when you were in sin. 
• Trust God with the results. 

Good Morning! In less than a week, our whole "way of life and sense of normalcy" has been greatly altered by a tiny little virus that we could not have seen coming. In one week, all activities, events, travel and even trips to the grocery store have been affected. For those of us that like to think we have some sense of control over our lives, this is most frustrating to say the least.

Perhaps, the reality is this, "we really control nothing!" We make our plans and set our agendas with little thought of whether or not these plans are in accordance with God's plans. We forecast our 5 year plan, our 10 year plan, our retirement plan and so on. Yet often we fail to recognize the blessing of today!

Today is a gift from God! It comes to us from His good hand. It contains challenges and blessings, it is lived out in 24 hours, or 1,440 minutes or 86,400 seconds. This morning my mind has been thinking about April/May/June; how long will this coronavirus last? I received an email from our dear Brother Tucker in the UK, having to cancel his visit with us in May.

Can I predict "how long?" No, I am not a scientist, or prophet. I am simply trying to steady my mind and thoughts on today. Today the sun is shining, the birds are singing, I am breathing, God is reigning!

So let me encourage you this morning to pray the Lord's Prayer and remember the blessing of today!

Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Amen, and may God bless you this day!

Pastor Tony

Often times when someone hears pastors talk about "family ministry," those who are not parents tune out, thinking that whatever is being said has no relevance to them. However, that couldn't be further from the truth. In this post, I hope to show you how family ministry is something for the whole church.

Whether you are a parent or not, you are part of a family. Regardless if you were raised by one or two parents, an aunt, or an unwilling guardian, you stand in relation to other human beings. By that fact alone, you would do well to know the story of the family and why and how we ought to do ministry for the family.

Before the church and before theocratic Israel, there existed God's first institution - the family. When God created Adam & Eve, He gave them the responsibility to procreate, to produce a progeny of Image-bearers. When one of these Image-bearers grew up, he was to leave his parents, hold fast to his wife and form a new family unit (Gen. 2:24). As these family units spread, Images of the divine would fill the earth and carry out God's purposes for His creation. However, what looks to be a rather uncomplicated vision of the family quickly fell to ruin.

Unfortunately, there has never been a family to walk this earth and enjoy all that the family was meant to be. Before they had children, Adam & Eve rebelled against God. Sin overtook them, corrupting their entire being, and the family has never since been the same. Although the purpose of the family - to spread the Glory of God throughout the earth - has never changed, things have become complicated (to say the least!). With sin came disease, jealousy, rivalry, insecurity, divorce, and death.

But praise be to God that Christ has overcome sin and all its effects. In Christ, "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness..." (2 Pet. 1:3). In Christ, the family is able to enjoy the promises and blessings of God. In Christ, the family is able to pursue our ultimate purpose and live for His Glory. The redeemed family still struggles with sin, but sin no longer has the last word.

The Christian family points to something greater than itself; that is, the family of God. If you are a follower of Christ, that is because God has adopted you. The Apostle Paul tells us that "He predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ for Himself..." (Eph. 1:5). Because we have been adopted and given the right to be called children of God (Jhn. 1:12), we rightly call each other "brother" and "sister." We are family, and our Father is at work building His family, adding to our fold brothers and sisters from every tribe, tongue, and nation. Family is God's heartbeat. 

Because family is God's heartbeat, it should be yours also. This is why family ministry ought to be a priority of the people of Broadway Baptist Church. One more thing must be said. When I say "family ministry," I'm not just talking about ministry to parents and children. Family ministry ought to certainly aim towards helping parents carry-out their calling to disciple their children. Certainly much of what will be produced from the BBC Students & Families Ministry focuses on this aspect of family ministry.

Still yet, there is another aspect of family ministry that often gets neglect - ministry that seeks to make the church look more like a family. This involves folks getting out of their bubbles and interacting with brothers and sisters of other generations. Younger men are to be discipled by older men (2 Tim. 2:2); likewise, younger women by those older than they (Titus 2).

Christ desire His church to be united in our understanding and purposes (Eph. 4:13). Therefore, whether you are currently parenting or not, you need to get on board with God. Join Him by supporting your brothers and sisters who are parents and are trying to carry out God's call on their lives. Engage with your faith family with the knowledge that they share the same Father as you. Break out of your age-segmented mindset and pour into a believer younger than you and learn from those more matured for this is Christ's desire for His church.

Grace & peace,
Pastor TJ